Plot twist!

The world is full of all kinds of sayings like these. Inspirational, motivational, encouraging, life changing, affirming, and so on. Yup, you can find just about any saying to take you from one mood to another, to support an emotion, possibly even to solve the big question of world peace. The world revolves a little smoother due to these little gems of gear lube.

For the most part, I enjoy them. I have used them, said them, posted them, shared them. And then there are days when I want to take them, print them off, tape them to the tree in my back yard, and shoot at them with my BB gun until they are no longer readable.

There is this one that we always had at church. The infamous Jesus quote (that actually was quoted by Mae West, not Jesus), "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." I have hated that one for years. I always found it a little condescending. When you were busting your tail, trying to just survive and you needed encouragement, to have someone look at you say "Jesus said it would never be easy, just worth it" you wanted to punch them. I think at that point I pretty much had grasped the concept that life was not easy, nor was it going to be. I did not have to be so bluntly reminded.

Where am I going with this? Oh, I have no clue. I had read something earlier today that was one of those warm, fuzzy, life is a bowl of cherries, sayings and it got my brain churning. I should start making my own. Here are a possible few (remembering that we always have to end them on a positive upswing):

• When you trip in life, you won't scrape your knees, you will rip your skin open, bleed all over the place, and probably get a concussion....yet the sun will still come up.
• Life sucks, like a leech gone wild at the Red Cross blood bank....yet even leeches eventually get full.
• Feeling blue? It's called lack of oxygen...just take a big breath.

Ok, enough of that silliness. I actually have read some really great ones lately. I downloaded an app for my phone that is helping me with my food journal. When you submit information, it pops up a positive quote (kind of like our 'cheerleader statements' from class), then it brings up a positive affirmation. So far, they have been really awesome. Here is the one that just came up as I logged my dinner:

I will feed myself and fight this illness, not feed this illness and fight myself

Cool, eh? The one from earlier today really hit me because it was like it was written just for me. It went like this:

Just because you are hurt, it doesn't mean that you are broken

It is possible that I need to read that one multiple times every day. I am thinking that the people contributing these have been through DBT as there are several that reflect distress tolerance and mindfulness. Then some just come right out and use DBT language like "build mastery" and "radical acceptance." Kudos.

It's been a crazy few weeks. I feel like one of those toys that you wind up and it runs into things, changes directions, runs into something else, and keeps going until it winds all the way down and can't go anymore (or hits something hard enough it breaks). It lets the environment control where it is going instead of knowing where to go itself.

I have many questions, emotions, and thoughts rolling around in my mind and heart. The good thing is that I am in a better place than I was yesterday and yet I still have a ways to go to get back to "happy-go-lucky". Surely, at some point I will figure out this life thing. I will figure out where I am, where I need to go, and how to get there.

I have homework to go do and report on, yet let me leave just one more personally written piece of "advice" that I have recently learned:

Choosing an unhealthy behavior and telling yourself you can control it is like getting throat punched by Chuck Norris and thinking you will live to tell about it.