TBT - The "V" Edition

Welcome to the Throwback Thursday, the "V" edition. The one that will scar you for the remainder of your days. You see, while you are reading this, I am (hopefully) drugged up and out cold, recovering from one of those fun loving gynecological procedures. I went through this two years ago and when I woke up afterwards I was in some wicked pain, enough that it cost me an extra 4 hours in recovery. They were doping me up with stuff I couldn't pronounce and it just barely took the edge off. At the present moment though, with less than 10 hours to go, I am officially in that "freaked out scared" state of mind. If someone were here, they would have to put up with me rambling on talking, yet, since I live alone, I will just ramble on writing.

You see, I have decided that if I have to get violated, I am sharing the wealth!!! Only thing is, you get a choice, you don't have to keep reading (yet this could be a good one!) Let this be my disclaimer - I hold no responsibility for any psychological damage done to those who choose to read beyond this point.

I started going to girl's camp through church when I was 12. Every summer I spent a week in the hot, humid weather batting bugs, making friends, learning first aid, tying knots, sleeping in a tents that leaked, eating horribly cooked over a campfire food, and loving every minute of it.

Camp then wasn't like it is for the girl's today. We learned survival skills and certified each year for four years. It was our Eagle Scout adventure. After your fourth year or if you were over 16, you became a counselor and in charge of your own group of 6-8 girls. And the stories I could write....and write....and write.

In total, I clocked 11 years of girl's camp. I have not been to camp for almost 20 years and there are still stories being told about me. I am not kidding you, when someone mentions girl's camp in the 80's, there is a small group of people whose names always come up - mine is a part of that group. I take total pride in it. Hey, who else can get a skit banned for life because it was "not inviting to the spirit." Ah, yah, that was me....twice. I never did anything illegal or immoral, just a lot of mischief!

In one of my early years as a counselor, I got the nickname that has stuck ever since. That summer it was excruciating hot. Seeing that we camped out in the woods, you were mostly in jeans. Fat girl, hot summer, blue jeans = REALLY CHAFFED!!!! So, I just made the comment that the best thing for being chaffed was Vagisil Powder - hey, it really worked. And that is all it took - I became, "the V-Woman" and to this day, there are still people who call me that (and live to tell about it).

The best souvenir I have was a drawing my friend did. This was around the same time as that TV series "V, the Visitors" was out. You know, the one with the spray painted, red "V"? Yah, my friend drew me a version of that for all time and eternity. Since that year, anything with the letter V in it has been skewed, distorted, and used to remind me that some things will never die. Again, if you are still reading, I'm not paying for your therapist bill.

There are certain responsibilities that a big sister has. I could name all the amazing and wonderful things I have done for my sister over the years. Being 12 years older, I had lots to choose from. I would like to say that I only taught her good, clean, and moral things. Yah, my brother and I were teenagers raising a younger sibling - she got taught a whole range of things to which I am not sure how she turned out as good as she has. Aside from all of that, what is understood between all of us siblings is that we will sacrifice anything for each other. If there is a need by one, any of the other two will always give if they have. That's just being family.

It's no wonder I'm in therapy.

My sister re-married a few years ago. Since this was her second marriage, that meant she did not have something that I did - virginity. Now, how could I ever let my sister have a wedding night without virginity?? Enter, the most amazing big sister in the world. As a wedding gift, I gave my sister my virginity. Not like I ever was going to use it.

This is sacrifice we are talking about here - well, ok, not really! The best part was trying to figure out how to pull this off. I managed to get a few of her friends involved and then I had to figure out where to go and find my virginity. Did you know you could find your virginity at Hobby Lobby?? Hey, a lot of thought goes into how one might depict their virginity. I feel sorry for the sales clerk who asked if she could help me with anything and I replied "I'm looking for my virginity." Ok, no that didn't happen, yet it would have been really funny!!! Probably would have gotten me kicked out of the store too! No, I was able to locate all the necessary components of my virginity all by myself.

Can we say, best wedding gift ever??

[Excuse my absence, had to take a break. Was laughing so hard that I just couldn't compose myself. I will have to say, of all the crazy ideas I have ever come up with, this one will forever be on top of the list. Then again, how do you top giving your virginity, which just happens to have big huge googly eyes, to your sister? Maybe this is one of those "you had to be there" things, yet I'm laughing so hard I can barely breathe. Wow, there really is something wrong with me.]

It was decided that I would specially wrap my virginity in the finest shiny red bag I could find (are we all glad I have not made any references to all the red?) and give it to her in front of everyone at the wedding shower. I had let certain friends in on it, yet no one had actually seen the end result. The moment was priceless. I think someone asked "what is that" to which my sister proudly exclaimed, "that's my sister's virginity!"

I inquired of my sister tonight if my virginity still sits on a shelf in her apartment nice and safe. Not sure what could happen to it...an eyeball fall off or something? (Oh my, and that is a whole other bad joke that I will spare you all from). She replied, reporting that it is no longer on the shelf, yet has a special place in the china closet...now officially renamed the "Va-china" closet. Yes folks, it runs in the family!

It definitely was a moment that will never be forgotten. And when it comes to siblings, isn't that how it should be?